Maryland couples consider ‘diplomatic divorce’

Talk to friends about what they wish was different about their divorce and many might say they could have spent less money and time in court and in order to resolve the case faster. A diplomatic divorce is one option that often provides for a quicker termination of marriage and allows couples to decide the property division themselves.

Both parties must agree the marriage is over and be willing to resolve issues of child custody and property division for a diplomatic no-fault divorce, sometimes called a collaborative divorce in Maryland. This can be difficult at a time when emotions are raw and tempers may be running high.

One good reason to opt for a diplomatic divorce is the children. Psychologists say that children show better adjustment following a divorce if the parents are able to minimize the intensity of their conflict both before and after the divorce.

In order to have a diplomatic divorce, several factors must be addressed:

  • Make sure your spouse is willing to pursue a diplomatic or amicable divorce, knows what this means in terms of working to resolve issues, and will hire an attorney to assist in this process.
  • Identify and hire an attorney that understands you want an amicable resolution and is willing to forego more aggressive tactics.
  • If the couple cannot negotiate items and collaborate themselves, they should use their attorneys as go-betweens to resolve the issues.

If these points can be agreed upon, the parties will have the benefit of deciding who gets what in terms of property, and they will determine custody and visitation issues themselves, instead of having a judge impose a settlement and custody arrangement on them. It usually means less stress and a better outcome for the children. And, it usually means the case is resolved faster since the parties are not battling in court for years.

It is important to note, however, that a diplomatic divorce does not mean the couple will always be good friends or will end the marriage painlessly. More than anything, it just means everyone can move on with their lives with fewer battle scars.

Source: Forbes, “A Diplomatic Divorce is the Only Way to Go,” Alan Dunn, June 28, 2012