None of us go into a marriage thinking it may end sooner than we think. We all want the relationship to bloom and grow as we walk through life together. But there is a darker side to reality we sometimes need to face. I have found as a divorce lawyer many people simply put their heads in the sand and fail to see the signs that the relationship is in trouble, or worse yet, maybe over.
1. Your spouse spends less time at home.
If you’re having marital difficulties, your partner may not want to spend as much time with you. They could choose to work late or spend time after work with friends or coworkers. Your spouse may find more reasons to avoid direct contact or any possible arguments or confrontations that may occur.
2. Your partner opens an individual checking or savings account.
Opening joint bank accounts before or after marriage is very common. It’s a good way for spouses to pool their income so that they can afford things like a down payment for a house, a new vehicle, a vacation or other items. If you discover that your partner has opened a separate savings or checking account, it may be possible that they plan on separating or even asking for a divorce.
3. You spend more time arguing with each other.
Marriage is never easy. There will be good days and bad days. Couples are bound to have arguments or disagreements, no matter how well they know each other. However, if you spend more time arguing than talking constructively with one another, it could be a sure sign that the marriage won’t last.
4. Your spouse makes plans outside of the home that don’t include you.
Spouses are usually accustomed to certain routines before getting married. They may meet with friends or colleagues after work or on the weekends at sporting events, concerts, movies and restaurants. After a person has been married for a while, they may invite their significant others to those events, so that they can meet their friends and create their own friendships with those people. Couples don’t always need to spend time with each other when they’re not working, but if your partner regularly makes plans to attend events or social gatherings that you don’t know about or aren’t invited to, it may mean that they don’t want to spend time with you.
5. Your partner doesn’t express interest in or initiate intimacy.
Intimacy is an important element in many marriages. This is especially true if a couple intends to start a family. They may be intimate with each other several times a week or month. Sexual intercourse brings partners closer together, but if things aren’t going so well, one or both partners may not feel like participating as often or even at all.
6. You or your spouse shut down.
Communication is essential for any kind of relationship. It’s a two-way street that can help people understand one another and anticipate and understand the other person’s wants and needs. Each partner in a marriage should be a good communicator and a good listener. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. One spouse may feel upset or hurt because of their partner’s actions (or lack of action). They may be tired of talking or arguing and simply shut down and refuse to participate in rational dialogue with their partner.
7. Your partner deletes their social media accounts or limits what you can see on them.
Social media has been a great way for people to connect, whether they’re down the street or around the country from their friends and relatives. Some couples may have joint or individual social media accounts. They are usually able to see who interacts with them and respond back to those people in turn.
If your partner removes you from a joint social media account, restricts what you can see on their social media profiles or deletes their social media accounts altogether, it may mean that something’s up. Of course, it’s possible that they may feel the need to take a social media break or quit it altogether. Then again, if they’re still talking to others on social media, they may have something to hide or might not feel comfortable discussing certain things with you.
8. Your or your spouse spend less time sharing with one another.
Good marriages typically have a fair amount of give and take. Each spouse is generally interested in their partner’s career, friendships, hobbies and interests. They may spend several hours during a day or week sharing things that happened to them at work or school. Sharing this information helps each person better understand the other and gives them insight into the world around their partner.
It’s not always easy to keep sharing things with your spouse, particularly if your schedules overlap or if you find yourself working longer hours and therefore spending less time at home than before. You may be stressed, tired or anxious and simply don’t feel like sharing as much. If you or your partner are having difficulties, you may not share anything with each other at all.
9. Your spouse would rather stay at home than going out or spending time with friends or relatives.
Partners in healthy relationships usually spend a decent amount of their free time attending events or celebrating holidays with family members, friends and neighbors. They may schedule date nights or go to concerts, ballgames and other occasions with people that are a part of their social circle. These activities are something to look forward and can be the highlight of a busy week.
As couples grow older or start raising children, they may not have as much time to spend with friends or relatives. They may be busy with their children’s events, going out on family outings or just working longer hours. More work and more stress may make a person feel tired and less likely to want to go out. They may want to spend time at home to decompress and relax, even if it means missing out on a gathering that their partner really wants them to attend.
10. Your partner says that they don’t love you anymore.
Love isn’t always a lifelong commitment. When a couple says “I do,” they may think that they will be in love with their partner for the rest of their life. That may or may not necessarily be the case. They may have a healthy relationship and make a commitment to love their partner and their children each and other day. If couples constantly butt heads or start arguments with each other, their love can start to weaken. Things may deteriorate to the point where one or both spouses fall out of love with their partner and may be contemplating divorce.
These are just a few signs that could indicate a possible divorce. Of course, everyone’s situation is different. If you’re thinking about filing for divorce or have been served with divorce papers, give us a call today to set up a free consultation. Our trained professionals will sit down with you and listen to what you have to say. They will provide advice for possible next steps and can represent you in court if you want.
Our main goal is to help you get back on your feet again. It won’t happen overnight, and you may have to endure some trying days and nights. If you’re willing to put forth the time and effort, you may find yourself enjoying your position in life before you know it.